Share a little laugh

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clearyour computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when yourealize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm prettysure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the Person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment atwork when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive forthe rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? Idon't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asksme if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear Idid not make any changes to. 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?),but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? 16. I hate leaving my house confident and loking good and then notseeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. 17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know notto answer when they call. 18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option 21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I firstsaw it. 22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each handthan take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. 24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nodand smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team upto prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never getdirty, and you can wear them forever. 28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber everyyear? 29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. 31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and stillnot know what time it is. 32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their carkeys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on theDonkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feetaway, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!