ralph

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
sleep, Ralph..'

Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live
for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken.'

Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking,
and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first
day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling
inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don 't tell me you've never
laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ralph.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big
deal.'

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He
soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
head, and heard his wife yell.....

Ralph! Wake up. You crapped the bed!'